Development of preschoolers

Power struggles among preschool children is a common occurrence. It may be difficult to deal with but children who take part in power struggles are displaying behaviour that is appropriate for their age. They are learning about their own thoughts, feelings and behaviour and also that their feelings can be different from those of adults. While you may find the behaviour of your child frustrating keep in mind that children are constantly exploring their world in different ways to develop and grow. Testing the limits of your endurance is one way in which they explore the environment they live in. Make sure you set firm rules for them to know their limits and as far as possible make them stick to those limits. The sooner the children learn that you are not going to give in the lesser power struggles you will encounter. Manage your child’s schedule and environment to avoid any kind of power struggles. Also develop a positive caring relationship with your child. In this situation your authority will be taken seriously. To do this have clear and simple rules and follow these rules consistently. Here are some suggestions for avoiding power struggles and dealing with them if they do occur.

Be clear and concise about what you expect or do not expect from your child and also clearly tell him about the consequences of not doing as told. For example you could tell your child, “I will read a story to you, after you have kept your books in place.” Be firm about the consequence of not doing as told and don’t give in to any amount of whining or crying, this will convey to the child that he is expected to do as told and he will also not try to get his way by throwing tantrums. This will ensure proper behaviour not just in childhood but will carry on to adolescence.

Don’t get caught up in the web of arguments and explanations. If you want your child to stop playing and come home and your child refuses to obey then you will have to pick your child and bring him home no matter how much your child whines or cries. Don’t worry even if you feel embarrassed in front of other parents. Your goal is to discipline your child and not to look like the perfect parent in front of other parents.

Avoid making threats especially those that you won’t follow through.  Threatening your child will stop you from developing a trusting, caring and positive relationship with your child. It will also teach your child that you are not serious about enforcing the consequences you threatened him with. This will stop your child from taking you seriously.

If you have set up a routine follow it as consistently as possible. If you stick to a routine that you have set children know what they should expect and what is expected from them.

Avoid creating situations that lead to power struggles. For example if your child insists on watching television while he is getting dressed for the school, make a rule that the television will not be switched on unless he is dressed.

Do not seem like you are winning a power struggle and once in a while it is good to give in especially if the power struggle does not involve your child’s safety or security.